TWATS

Has anyone else noticed that the acronym for "The World According To Simon" is TWATS?

MLTS, you crack me up! You see EVERYTHING!
:: happy hour begins at 9:31 PM [+] ::

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Cow on Wall...

I realize I'm posting a lot today, but it's MY world and besides, I've been without blog for a week. Pipe down, complainers!

This is a call out to any Brits who might be tuning in. Can someone please tell me why you go "to hospital" or "on holiday"? What happened to your definite and indefinite articles? I'm not criticizing, I'm just curious.

To borrow a line from a great movie, Murder by Death, "The cow on the wall speaks."

Anyone want to field this one? Please?
:: happy hour begins at 6:57 PM [+] ::

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Drunkards and Layabouts

It's me again - off from work! Just kinda ditched. Eh. I'm listening to Westlife, having a White Russian and cleaning out my files, which brings me to...

Did you ever notice the distinctive look Simon gets when he's drunk? Kind of that little kid, just out of bed thing? Hair a bit rumpled, shy little smile and a disarming flush to his cheeks? Seems like he's just about to giggle? Sigh...
:: happy hour begins at 4:50 PM [+] ::

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Toothpaste, Paulakateers and the Ego that Fooled a Nation

Hey kids - it's FRIDAY! If you're ever looking for two words to cheer me up, there they are. (Unless you're Simon, in which case I could think of LOTS of two-word combinations that would work...)

I suppose most of you saw yesterday's episode of Extra and The World According to Simon. Does anyone know why we got a shot of him brushing his teeth, other than to give the slash fans a thrill? (Hmmm...) It was kind of intimate, though, rather like seeing him barefoot in those OK! Mag photos. I love that; I'm quite the little voyeur, you know. (Oh, and you KNEW he'd have a toy for every menial task. Please, a MANUAL toothbrush? What is this, the Dark Ages?)

So anyway, they mentioned this "dubious" luvvie award or whatever it is our sweet boy left our fair country to receive - for having the biggest ego. HA! It just goes to show that the advice we hear from self-esteem gurus is basically true: "Act as if you have confidence and no one will know that you don't." It's a life lesson for us all.

There's a corollary to that rule, by the way, lots of fun at parties: "People will believe anything if you whisper it." I guess that has nothing to do with anything, but there it is.

Going back to self-esteem, Simon has accused Paula of sitting on pillows to appear taller on the advice of a positive-thinking yogini and the Paulakateers are all het up about it. Has it not occurred to darling Simon that her butt might just get tired of sitting in those stupid chairs for hours on end?

Since I'm about Paula's height let me field this one for her: Get over it, Simon. You're just mad that you didn't think of it first, and if you come anywhere near my pillows I'll kick your ass.

WHEW! Call an exorcist! Paula has taken over my body! ARGH!!!

Okay, it's okay. I'm back. Simon, you can fluff my pillows anytime!

Close call, folks; I'm gonna go meditate on the pic of him from the People Mag Yearbook (stunning!) and pray for redemption. Have a great day, children!

Kisses!
Juliet
:: happy hour begins at 1:09 PM [+] ::

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Introducing the World

Welcome, newbies! Some of you may remember me from the OLD official American Idol boards at Prospero (Bolt sucks), but since many of you are meeting me for the first time I thought a little introduction might be in order.

In real life, I am a 30-year-old woman with a wonderful husband and a desk job. I have dogs and cats and a cell phone and a palm pilot and a tiara.

In Juliet's World, I am a 16-year-old nutcase who is head over heels in love with Simon Cowell. I spend a lot of time listening to Westlife and Five, not just because Simon produced them but because they help me regress. I wear a ponytail (flip flip flip!) and pad around barefoot a lot wishing I could make out with Simon.

Because I must hide my Simon/boyband fetish from friends and others who simply would not understand, I must bring my obsession here to the blog. It is my mission to torture you people into agreeing that Simon Cowell is the most fascinating person in the known universe.

I'm gonna do it, too.

Every day I'll pay the blog a little visit to tell you about Juliet's World and how my real life interferes with it. Feel free to Contact Me to say hi or click on Shout Out (at the end of each post), but keep in mind that hate mail will be forwarded to the IRS where I have a friend...

Hugs and kisses everyone! Welcome to the new and improved World According to Juliet!
J

PS - Have you been over to the Simon Dolls Website? My friend HFS and I cooked that up over some alcohol in chat one night and the rest is history!

PPS - If you wander in here at some point and everything has been rearranged or there is a funky spot in the middle of the page, please bear with me. This html think is too much for a 30/16 year old who has apparently been in a COMA for the last decade.
:: happy hour begins at 6:23 PM [+] ::

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Hello again! So I still haven't figured this damn thing out. Do they make an "HTML for Dummies" book? Borders. Lunch. Tomorrow.

So anyway, I just finished watching tonight's ep and CANNOT BELIEVE how turned on I got when Simon got all murderous on those boys! That gorgeous face just turned so dark... I think I may have hit my head on the way down, because I swear I saw him chomp his teeth three times a bit later on.

Strange.

You know, though, if he ever turned those glaring eyes to look upon me I would have the hardest time not flicking him in the forehead to break the tension. DOINK! He would either marry me or kill me, I know it. Poor thing. Life imprisonment for him either way.

Okay, back to html. I took French in college. Do you think it will help?

'Night!
J


:: happy hour begins at 10:30 PM [+] ::

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Hey gang! I'm back! I am so freaking excited right now I don't know what to say, so I'll just say TEST POST. It's going to take me a while to figure all of this out (remember, Simon has caused me to regress to my teenage years, in which we were ecstatic to have a TI-99) so please bear with me for a bit.

Thanks so much to Jo for finding this site! It's so great to finally be HOME!!!!

Kisses!
J
:: happy hour begins at 6:37 PM [+] ::

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